Deus Ex: Human Revolution Reivew, or something

This is going to be a very bare bones post, no videos or pictures and it’s kind of improv. But whatever, I just need to get back into writing stuff again.

So I have a question, why don’t game developers start making their games at the end? I just finished Deus Ex Human Revolution a few hours ago, and again I was treated to a very… can I call it Mass Effect 3 ending? I suppose that is not very fair to either game, or the topic that I am talking about. I guess it is around this point that I should warn against spoilers too.

            I will just get to the point; this is another game where they have you make choices throughout the story, but once you get to the end it just kind of stops. It then asks you nicely to push one of four buttons that will decide the fate of the world apparently (except it doesn’t because this is a prequel). Now in a world that is as finely crafted as Human Revolution, where most of what you see is explained by either back-story, science, or both, one of the first question I asked is, “who the hell built this and why!?”

You expect me to believe that inside of a massive trillion dollar climate control laboratory, they spent the time to create a hidden room with 4 buttons that do what? Edit the testimony of a raving mad man in order to convince the world that some group is responsible for all the worlds’ problems? And after I choose, I’m rewarded with a vague monologue about the choice I made, without seeing its impact. It undermines everything, all the choices that I had made up to that point, not to mention is rather contrived ending when compared to the thought out story found in Human Revolution.

It’s obvious that this game was not finished. That this was contrived in order to tie up all loose ends in the plot quickly. This is not something unique to just this game either, because Mass Effect 3, Alpha Protocol, Fallout 3, KOTOR 2, Skyrim, and Final Fantasy XIII just to name a few, also have the same problem. So why is it that game developers keep making the same mistake, and throwing in rushed ending?

For any one who has ever worked on a long term project, you know that you don’t always make the product that you wanted to create. Deadlines move, problems occur, and often just finishing it on time in working condition is satisfaction enough. So I am sympathetic when content is not complete… most of the time. Human Revolution, for the most part, felt finished with the clear exception of this ending scene. Even so, it’s enough to drive me insane. It’s really getting frustrating to know that every time I am about to finish a game that I enjoy, I’m in store for some cobbled together excuse for a finale.

So what’s the solution? I think that the first thing that every game developer should work on is the ending. It needs to be awesome, loud music, maybe giant monsters, water skiing Peruvian extra-terrestrial aliens, 50 minute long romance scenes; really whatever floats your fancy. After that they need to write a story that fits the ending, and then do whatever it is game developers do for the rest of the game. I never want to see a Franken-ending (that’s a thing now) ever again!

Any for those of you who were wondering, I really liked Human Revolution. It was a fun game, well, except for that ending. 

Blades of Steel - NES

Ah, old sport games, long gone is the era where one could make a sport game that ignores almost every rule contained in the original sport.

Because the title "Hockey" was not 'X-treme' enough

Blades of Steel was Konami’s port of its hockey arcade series to the NES. The first sound you hear when you pop this game into your NES is the horrifying, robotic, scratchy voice telling you that you are, in fact, playing “Blades of Steel” just in case you could not read the gigantic metallic text.

Seriously, what is with all the misleading here? Giant metallic action movie font and robotic voices; it makes this look more like an action game as opposed to a sports game, that or that there is some hidden back story to this game. The one that I came up with is that a race of evil metal humanoids from planet Narptune have taken over Earth, and now forces the remaining human population to play hockey for their amusement.

The survivors of Minnesota City are my favorite team

Anyway, while we are still sort of on the topic of sound effects, it should be made known that our strange robotic announcer was not a one time thing. Nope, this bastard is here to stay, transforming him into one of the most annoying things I have heard all week. Seriously, this guy is always talking. At the only point in the game when he stops talking, we are greeted with the sound of people whistling and cheering, almost like they are glad that their oppressive overlord has stopped commenting. Well, that or the clapping sound is actually an earthquake warning us to keep playing or face extinction, I can never tell the difference in old video games.

Wait, is that a Konami brand zamboni?

The game play for this game is actually pretty good. Personally I hate sport games, and even I found it enjoyable. You control one character at a time, out of a team of five plus a goalie. The other players are AI controlled, taking only minimal direction from the controller, and will go to areas that the game thinks is the best location for them to be, often checking the movement of the other teams players. The game will auto switch the player you control if, for instance, the puck moves closer to another player. This is all very streamlined, and works perfectly for the player. The only problem with it is that it can get a little chaotic at times; making it easy to lose what player you are controlling allowing the other team to score. This is because both the computer controlled player, and the one you control are both flashing. As such you are not sure which one you are. 

I like how the referee is a giant compared to the people in the stands

The only strange thing is when you get into a fight, and trust me, you will get into fights all the time in this game. You get into fights whenever you ram an opponent several times. The game will then quickly cut to a boxing mini game, and honestly, I have no idea how to control it. It’s just best to avoid the conflict all together because when you lose, that player is penalized with a two minute time out... Wait what?

Fighting: it’s sometimes never the answer

The last cool thing I noticed is that in the half time marker, it will sometimes play advertisements for old Konami games like Gradius, Contra and Jackal.

You remember Jackal, don’t you?

Overall, this is a pretty fun game. Like I said before, not being a fan of sport games, I was surprised by how much I liked it. Being both single and multiplayer, I would suggest that you go out and try this game if you can.

Robot announcer: Now for the Losers from the Chicago Junior league, it is off to the salt mines with you! 

New look, and constant stream of posts (for real this time)

Well, I'm not quite sure who exactly this post is intended for, considering that I do not believe that anyone besides me currently looks at this blog, but I feel the need to update on what exactly is going on with the blog.

First, a new look: Granted its not going to be winning any Red Carpet Fashion Awards, (the blog was never very fond of Joan Rivers anyway), I think its spiffy enough for regular internet consumption by people who I never met, and never care to. The old blog was dead looking anyway.

Secondly: The new mission, (which the blog had already accepted resulting in the self destruction of numerous older posts), is to review "kinda" old video games. This will make more sense with time, (or at least I hope so because I still have no clue), but for now just know that the concept is that in the period where a game transitions from being avant-garde to passe, (or maybe chiaroscuro), it experiences that awkward period of limbo in between. While these games go through sudo hell, they attempt to make amends for past sins, almost all of which are blown off and ignored. Anyone who is interested in these games is forced to look at aged reviews, most of which do not reflect the current status, appeal, or quality of the game. We hope to change that, because some games, like a fine wine, get better with age. Some games, like a Twinke, don’t really change at all. Other games, like that new pet gold fish you got for your birthday, are better to be flush down the toilet now before any emotional attachments are formed…

That won’t be the only things we look at, but for now that will comprise a majority of the postings that come from this blog. The hope is that I will get the first of the new posts up by next week, so stay tuned or something. I don’t care.     

New Music from Mandalorian!!!!!

This is an excerpt from a much much longer song called "Exar Kun" by my solo project "Mandalorian"

Yes, the awesome new music made by me: seniormeld (also known as Mandalorian)

I used heavy phasers to make a sound similar to the blasters and the ending like 3 seconds was me trying to make a lightsaber sound.

Most Important games in history

A Video, Whats this?