The Day-Late Gamers

Unlimited Detail, and the possibly return to regular postings

2011-08-04T12:04:00.002-05:00

It seems that it has been around a half a year since my last post. Needless to say, I need to be far my frequent. That’s why I have agreed to do a post around once a week and at the very least whenever I beat another videogame, or force my self to eat hamburger helper (I don’t care what you might say, that “food” is nasty).

Just this week I beat Deadly Premonition (great game), and yesterday I just beat Final Fantasy XIII (*head desk*). I’m contemplating doing a review on one of them, but at the same time I have so little to say that has not already been said on them that I would come off as one of many bloggers and reviews who enjoy beating the dead horses that are these two games. Anyway, I will try to be more diligent on posting for now on.

Anyway, to the actual post now…

A few days ago, I was show a video of the “Unlimited Detail” engine by Euclideon.

Now, I know very little about how 3D modeling works, but the tech over all seems to be plausible or at the very least the company seems to be legitimate. From what I can find on them, it seems that they have received significant grant funds from the Australian Government, which to me suggests that these guys are at least one step above the common “internet hoaxer” and “viral promoter”.

And another thing is that a lot of the people claiming it not real seem to not be doing very good research on the company itself. Its early videos are easy to find, and they themselves note that this tech is not a new way of rendering something, but just a more efficient way to do it. Clearly though, there has to be some down side to this tech, which they clearly are not mentioning, and that both makes me curious and dubious at the same time.

I’m not saying everything that I could about this, trust me that would end up being a five paged, rambling essay, I do find this intriguing and, for the moment, I am keeping an open mind.

Video Games cause the Florida School Board Shooting

2010-12-17T12:13:00.005-06:00

If any of you reading have not heard, there was this shooting in a Florida school board meeting, and I guess it was kind of a big deal.

Look at the heroics of th……wait a second. Did I just see what I thought I saw?

Scratch that, I take back what I said in my earlier post. I was trying to reason with the fact that most commercial videogames are a repetitive and violent medium, devoid of any artistic originality, and thus they needed to diversify to be accepted by larger communities. I now hate larger communities, because they totally suck.

It’s funny how the mass media, lawyers, and psychologists will pick at videogames, saying how they cause violence, and connecting even the smallest things to find a link and yet seem to almost refuse do it to movies. The silliest example of this came from the Virginia Tech shooting, where by because the gun man used a Glock hand gun he must have been an avid player of counter-strike, a game set in the real world, a world where Glock hand guns are guns and a world where guns kill people. Even so, I have only heard passing comments on this guy, who painted a red V, a reoccurring symbol from V for Vendetta comic books. Heck, actually, ignoring small forum posts, I have actually have not seen anyone connect this shooting to the comic book, and only one news cast said his symbol was “similar” to the movie. I hope that by similar, they mean exactly the same.

This just goes to show how biased our news is, and how anything that we do is impressionable. While it is silly to say that videogames do not merit the capacity to cause violence in people, the act of blaming violence on videogames and not on comic books and movies, where in this case we can see what this gun man was clearly inspired from, is just silly. I mean, look at this clip from the movie based on the comic book and tell me it did not give him some pointers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TLD3Z6sJWA

They keep talking about the heroisim, but the real story here is why did he do it? Why did he bother spray that symbol on the wall? was he a Fan of V for Vendetta? Even with this HUGE connection, I have yet to hear anyone talk about how movies and comic books need comprehensive censorship laws, how we are a disgusting and violent culture, or how we need to prevent the carrying or concealed hand guns or just outlawing guns in general. Perhaps it’s because the shooter was an older man. Funny thing is though, if it were a kid who was to do the shooting, I bet they would try to blame the non-existent V for Vendetta Videogame.

how the new California video game ban could be a good thing, and how we are all over reacting

2010-11-29T23:39:00.009-06:00

As many of you may already know, EMA v. California/Schwarzenegger is finally being heard by the Supreme Court, and now the gamers of the internet are aflame. Many point to the ridiculousness of the case, noting that out of all the laws pertaining to the very same subject, and with all of them being shot down in local and state courts, how is it that this one made it all the way to the national level? Others speak prophecies of doom, saying a censorship law of this nature will reduce the videogame industry to simple children games like Kinectimals and Bejeweled, losing what little artistic merit videogames have, and placing forever out of reach true artistic expression. Others still note the similarity that this law has to the Comics Code Authority, and foresee that the passing of the new law will have similar effects on videogames that the Comics Code Authority had on comic books.

I want it to be known that I hate censorship of any kind. It pains me to see when certain books are not allowed in schools because they stand as a perceived threat against society and the normal way of life, I hate it when lines in other wise great films are changed for the mere fact that they go against the majorities view on a hot button topic, and I hate it when television shows self censor themselves by ignoring the meat of the issue and instead take the easy road around it as to avoid conflict. But I also have to ask, how bad can such a law be? Is there no chance that nothing will come from this, that it will prove to be nothing less than detrimental to videogames overall? As of now I’m torn; only a few weeks ago I would have agreed that the videogame law were a bad thing, but as of lately I am starting to see things differently.

(As you read the rest of this post, you should take note, that I am not examining EMA v. California specifically or law itself in any great depth. I am also not going to be pointing out the double standard; that vulgar and violent films, books, music, and works of art are ok, but that violent games are bad. It’s not going to mention how the law is based upon the Miller Test, where they simply replaced the word’s “work” and “profanity” with the words “videogames” and “violence”, or the fact that the Miller test itself is controversial because of how it places the duty of finding works obscene into the always ambiguous hands of “Mr. Average Citizen”, among other reasons. I already know, you don’t need to tell me.)

It was about three weeks ago when I was thinking of ideas that I could use for this post, a post where I would yell and complain about the evils of the California law, with hopes that it would contain some constructive facts that maybe the Supreme Court would read and ultimately force them to strike down this law. It was at this same time that I attended a lecture at a local college on the history of film. I have always been a sucker for movies, and so I went to hear what the speaker had to say. He talked about how film got its start, with Sallie Gardner at a Gallop and the Roundhay Garden Scene, onward. Eventually he got to the 1960’s, and talked briefly on censorship in films. As he did though, he seemed to have an almost positive look upon them. When he had finished talking I asked him if he thought if censorship had a positive effect on films. He said they did.

His argument was that the barriers and limits they place forced directors to think creatively to get their point across. He quickly cited the film Notorious and its scene where the couple kisses for almost 3 minutes, side stepping the rule preventing a kiss that lasts longer than 30 seconds by having them nibble on one another of talk every three seconds.

In a way, this scene is almost a more passionate romantic moment than most that we have in films today, which is odd when you consider that we don’t have to abide by a 30-second rule, and have full access to depict sexual encounters. I thought then, that perhaps this could help video games, which if you look at the entire medium as a whole, are fairly shallow when compared to literally any other art form. Basically, it seems that censorship forces creativity.

I know, people argue that the Comics Code Authority killed comics with its strict censorship rules, but I disagree with that for two reasons. The first is that the comics started dying off because people did not buy them, which was a result from the negative press they received at the time and not from the fact that they could not depict drug use or evil/stupid cops. Secondly, they were killed off because they were not creative. Yeah, that’s right, I just said the Stan Lee was not creative. There were probably a number of ways to get around their censors, similar to what Alfred Hitchcock did in Notorious, yet they kept making the same boring stories, aimed at children, over and over again. Perhaps, if they tried to appeal to a different market, comics could be a far more mature medium. It also important to remember that in 1971, Stan Lee just took the Comics Code Authority stamp off of a comic in order to get it published, so arguing that it had any effect aside from creating bad press for comic books is insane. There has been little press coverage on the current videogame law that will prevent minors from buying violent games, minus a few blurbs on the occasional news channel and comedy show; a far cry from what we saw when the Comics Code Authority was being instated.

If videogames want to survive, they need to get creative, they need to find new ways to tell stories, and they need to diversify. Games have basically been telling the same story for the last 20 years, with minor changes. Yes, I know that there is X and Y game and that game that may mix things up a bit, but we must remember that X and Y does not make up the whole alphabet. There is a literal flood of titles that are made up of nothing more than garbage plots, poor controls, boring game play, annoying characters, retarded dialogue, and repetitive settings. Sure, a censor imposed on games, or anything, is bad. I don’t deny that, but in this case it also has the potential to make games more mature. It’s also important to remember that games have a wider range of appeal than say comic books, that they take in much more money now than movies, and so a “Videogame Code Authority” will have a hard time making the millions of people from all ages think that game are bad. The Internet is a helpful tool as well, allowing for easy distribution and easy access to information for those who bother to look. Another key point is that Indie games, as far as I know, would not be under the thumb of the California law. It’s even possible that it may even command a bigger market for indie games by drawing more attention to them in a world where game retails are controlled. We should also remember that most censorship laws, if they pass, are not permanent. The court case Joseph Burstyn Inc. vs. Wilson, for example, removed censorship in film under an argument supported by both the 1st and 14th amendments.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call to the game industry. It seems that this time they may get out unscathed, but next time they may not be so lucky. They are going to need to diversify, find new ways to bring in more adult and mature audiences without all of the explosions and violence. I have serious doubts that the Supreme Court will rule against videogames, seeing as how they do not have a history on supporting censorship, but a future case and even this one, has the potential of leaning the other way. Better games that appeal to a wider audience, with a more artistic nature can help ensure that something like this will never occur again. Any way, that’s about all I have to say on that subject, and I hope that this post will provide some food for thought for those like me, who are fiercely against any form of censorship.

2010-06-27T22:50:00.006-05:00

What I’m about to say here definitely does not reflect the views of the others who post here, which is the point of having them here in the first place. Even so, I just wanted to get that out of the way because most of what I’m about to say will not be too popular among anyone.

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So this year’s E3 is at an end. I must admit, I saw a lot that peaked my interests, and overall, it looks like many fun games will be produced for both this year and the next. Even so, I can’t help but feel that most everything presented illustrates that games are moving in a trend that will not be beneficial for them, at least as an art form. In general, I was just disappointed by what was shown.

To be fair, I came into this with a sore attitude. There really was nothing that I was looking forward to, and as such there was probably very little that they could show me that would have changed my opinion. Even so, the whole event seemed devoid of life or energy. From where I am standing, it looked like a giant pissing contest, with everyone trying to outdo one another by copying or falling on old tactics. You had Sony copying Nintendo’s motion controller, Microsoft copying Sony with their overly sophisticated Eye Toy, there was Sony copying Xbox Live, and lastly there was Nintendo who cashed in on the 3-D obsession, followed by their usual bag of tricks (Zelda, Mario: insert random sport here).

Now, if you could not tell, I’m one of those art freaks who believe that videogames can have a more mature side if we are willing to develop one. While, you may not agree with me, you have to ask yourself how new systems, such as the Kinect and Nintendo 3DS, will further develop and advance games as a whole. The answer is they won’t. As we saw from the Nintendo Wii, innovative consoles do not result in innovative games. They do not make games more mature, often doing just the opposite, and they are almost always plagued with trash software. Another problem with them actually stems from the developers themselves. Often, it seems, they do not understand how to work with the new tech, and as such they adapt the new system to old designs.

An example of this would be how everyone is talking about playing First Person Shooters on the Kinect. That system really is not well suited for such a game, similar to how a controller pad is not well suited to play strategy games. While it can be done, as we saw with games such as Brutal Legend and Halo Wars, they did not perform as well as similar titles built on the PC. If developers were willing to make new or modified game genres that fit the new systems, then we might be better off. The sad thing is, Microsoft, Sony, and even Nintendo probably know this, and they don’t care. It’s all less about the art and more about being different, appearing cool, and at the end of the day, selling more systems than the others.

I suppose right now, I’m yelling about how an entire industry has worked and operated for longer than I have been alive, and I know that most of what I want to see is more or less a giant pipe dream, but would still appreciate to see some original content created and supported for the sake of art, and not for the sake of sales. For instance, Nintendo showed off the “new” Golden Eye 007 game, a title that I would hardly even call a remake. We need to understand, as a group, that by endorsing such titles, we are by default endorsing lazy developers. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why people like Roger Ebert refuse to acknowledge the potential that games have as an art.

I suppose that’s all I really have to say, though greatly shortened from its original length. I am fully aware that most of you will disagree with what I just said, just don’t call me out on not providing enough examples. This original entry had nearly five pages of examples, and I hope that I am being nice by cutting it down to just this.

New Music from Mandalorian!!!!!

2010-05-03T03:06:00.003-05:00

This is an excerpt from a much much longer song called "Exar Kun" by my solo project "Mandalorian"

Yes, the awesome new music made by me: seniormeld (also known as Mandalorian)

I used heavy phasers to make a sound similar to the blasters and the ending like 3 seconds was me trying to make a lightsaber sound.

Gun boots....

2010-04-03T00:52:00.004-05:00

Do I hear Final Fantasy XVI?

Stookey Dookey..the second

2010-01-30T19:47:00.001-06:00

Poor depleting oceans...

The Little Tree

2010-01-27T23:30:00.005-06:00

Story time, children! Tonight we will be reading the tale of the happy little tree. During a session with Google's new Wave product, a couple of colleagues of mine and I ended up writing this three-part epic trilogy (redundancy!). What follows is a voyage into madness, and is not for the faint of heart.

Image copywritten by whoever owns the Charlie Brown Christmas special now. ABC?

~The Little Tree: Part 1~

Written by Brickmaster3000

Once upon a time there was a tree who always dreamed that someday he would become a piece of paper. His friends all made fun of him, "Who wants to be a filthy piece of paper," they would say.

The little tree just ignored them. He knew that paper was a glorious thing. Paper was what held knowledge. Paper is what allowed written language to come to be. Surely there could be no better thing to be.

One day a lumberjack stopped to eat his lunch by the little tree and heard him daydreaming about being paper. "I could help you with that," said the lumberjack. The little tree was thrilled when he heard that and gladly agreed with the lumberjack.

As the lumberjack took his axe to the little tree it screamed in pain, "Oh my god! The pain! It hurts so much!" The lumberjack ignored the little trees screams and kept going. He then ground the little trees lifeless corpse into a pulp and finally turned it into paper.

~The Little Tree: Part Deux~

Written by Expendable Sith

Finally, the pain began to subside. Bit by bit, the little tree began to retain feeling, first at his core, and slowly in his extremeties. But, something was wrong, something felt different...he felt somehow bigger. No, he thought, not bigger, I don't feel like there's more of me. I feel as though I'm more...spread out. As he was pondering this quandary, suddenly his senses were flooded with light, and he heard footsteps.

"Mr. Capone, it is my honor to present to you your new store of counterfeit currency. Inspect it, please, and you will find that it is nothing less than a work of art."

Mr. Capone? Counterfeit currency? What illegal things could possibly be going on here? Suddenly the little tree felt part of him move, become displaced. As someone was ruffling through a part of him, the little tree began to laugh.

"You're tickling me, stop!" The ruffling stopped, and he felt the displaced portion of himself drop to the cold floor.

"What the hell's goin' on here, Frankie? You'se guys tryin' to pull a trick on me or somethin'?" a man said as he started to chuckle. "Well, you got me. Now, let's go purchase ourselves some booze, eh?"

"Um, Mr. Capone, sir, I assure you this is no trick. I'm the happy little tree, and I'm so glad to meet you!" the happy little tree said joyfully, "I think I must be paper now, and I want to know...what manner of knowledge is written on me? Am I a science book? Will you read me and be my friend?"

"The joke's up, Frankie. You get your boys out of here and let's spend dis money. It was funny for a moment, but I'm gettin' tired o' dis."

There was a shuffling sound, and the other man said, nervously, "I'm afraid that voice is right. This is no joke, Mr. Capone. Frankly I don't know what's going on, but I know I don't like this one bit. Maybe this is a sign, sir, a sign of what we are doing is wrong. This money may be tainted with our wrongdoings...sir, what are you doing?!"

The happy little tree began to feel wet all over, and a cool liquid splashed all around his extended body. "Ha ha, stop! If you get yourbooks wet, Mr. Capone, the print will get all smudgy! Hee hee!" the happy little tree said in between laughs.

"No, my little friend, we ain't gonna read ya. Frankie, a match, if you would?"

"But, sir, with that much gasoline you'll burn the whole building down!"

"Dis building ain't worth my piece o' mind, Frankie. Give me a damn match!...Thank you, Frankie."

There was a small scritch, and then only pain. Pain worse than the pain of being cut down from his forest, pain worse than anything the little tree could have ever imagined. Along with the pain was an intense, blinding light. The little tree shouted in agony, begging his new friend Mr. Capone to make the pain stop, but there came no answer. Again, the little tree was ignored, and again the sweet, blissful darkness came.

~The Little Tree: Part Three~

Written by DukeofDummies

The building began to burn with the money and the abandoned warehouse burned to the ground, "but fire is never an end, but really a beginning to things" -quote from a really crappy forest video. From the ashes arose grass, that insects could scramble between, flowers to make the land beautiful, and in the middle of all this wonder and beauty of creation arose a sapling.

"Son of a $#@%!" said the sapling

... Now in nature, you get a variety of kindred souls, each is unique in their own way. The flowers with their petals blowing in the breeze, spreading their scents throughout the area. The grass, being harvested by gang members, who roll it up into cylindrical cigarettes and smoke it until they see pretty colors, and the sapling.

"if I ever see that son of a @#$& I'm going to fall over on him"

... swearing at the idyllic scenery.

"you call this idyllic? I'm in the middle of a marijuana patch!"

"dude... I think the trees are talking to us man! I'm freakin out!" said one of the gang members... so when life brings you lemons you make lemonade-

"so does that mean when life gives you pot you smoke a joint and sell a little on the side? I wanted to be paper! I wanted to be a book!"

... *ahem* It was a sapling with high hopes, high dreams, yet a very low height at such a young age. It was a sapling that wanted book smarts, not street smarts.

"yeah"

It couldn't take such a meager existence of being a marijuana marker

"YEAH!"

He decided to end it right there and take his own life

"GRRR- GRAAAA"

too bad he was a sapling, and saplings can't move. As we can see he wasn't a very smart sapling either

"you son of a @#$&!"

So as the years grew on he grew bigger and bigger and his cursing grew louder and louder, making the pot stash easier and easier to find, and less and less of a secret until finally the police got wind of it. It was the largest stash that was ever found in drug history, the mayor awarded him the key to the city and placed him in the central park. As the years went by the key eventually fell off and no one was ever quite sure of where he was after that. But rumor has it that if you head into the park at night wearing plaid and hold an axe you can hear, just barely, a sound that sounds a lot like...

"Bastard"

The End

Stookey Dookey

2009-11-05T19:51:00.001-06:00

Isn't he just so cute? I bet you want to know how he saves the world. and water.

2009-09-28T21:52:00.003-05:00

We here at day late gamers are hard core nerds. Seriously, on our down time, what do we do? Make Java jokes of course, and what better place to make them than in MSN messenger? I can’t think of any.

Well, I guess I’m not a total nerd, considering I have committed the ultimate sacrilege by not seeing District 9…. I’m getting to that, eventually.

Senior Meld says:
Go see District 9 first
Douche bag
Copnos says:
I know
Senior Meld says:
How could you not have seen it yet?
Copnos says:
I don’t know
Senior Meld says:
oo
oo
I know I know pick me
Pick me
You = fail
That’s why
Public class Copnos{ public void douche () { act like a douche and don’t see District 9 }}
Copnos. douche()
There’s some java humor
And no I don’t need semi colons
Copnos says:
I hate java
Senior Meld says:
Me too
Copnos says:
system.out.println("why don't you need semi colons?");
Eric says:
System.out.println ("because semi colons are for d bags")
Copnos says:
D bag is not an identifiable qualifier, please Instantiate this variable or use a recognizable one.
Senior Meld says:
Douvhe d bag = new douche (Copnos)
Copnos says:
Boolean Senior Meld is an ass face = true
Boolean Copnos sucked at java = true
Senior Meld says:
Boolean Copnos needs to see District 9 = true

2009-09-27T16:45:00.003-05:00

Changing our site

Well, we are moving our site to this new location. It just seemed like the right thing to do; to escape the tyrannical dictatorship that is Googles blog spot. The site is almost done, so check it out. We hope to spread the truth through it, so that you may have your eyes opened.

See the truth at http://daylategamers.blogpot.com/

2009-09-27T02:03:00.019-05:00

Fire fight will eat your soul

Currently, I'm rocking out to the Halo ODST soundtrack. Now, don’t get me wrong, halo 3's sound track was great, but there is only so much of Marty's trumpet obsession I could take before I wanted to punch my face in. Why? Because it makes me feel like I'm at a high school football game. I hated high school, worse years of my life so far. Anyway, this new soundtrack has a nice Jazz/Soft Rock element that makes listening to it much more bearably than the other games. Seriously, Everyone should check out the soundtrack, even if you hate halo (yes, you too Sony and Cabelos nazi's, you too.)

The game itself is awesome too, seriously. This is the game I wanted back with Halo 2; epic and memorable. Remember the Halo 2 E3 gameplay trailer, how epic it looked and then poof, it disappeared from the final product. What happened? I guess it just ended up in ODST. Saddly, it seems the campaign is only three hours long. Fire fight mode is a blast to play as well, but you need to let go some times. I swear, Expendable Sith and I played a single match for almost three hours. What a waste of life.

Check out this video

Don’t they dance like they are from the Teletubbies?

I already checked, they are also dancing in synch with the Teletubbies theme too. I would upload that video to here as proof that what I say is not a lie, but I’m to lazy. Suck it MLA citation! Seriously english majors, try to be less anal about that: if you dont believe me check it out for your self. But, to be fair, they actually are good dancers. Again english majors, if you want to see bad dancers then just watch this if you dont believe me (please just take my word for it, for your own sake).

Remember when games would give you something really shitty, and then you had to upgrade it to make it awesome? Well that’s how I’m hoping brutal legend will be. I got a little exclusive hands on time with it thanks to Xbox live (why does that make it exclusive then? Because Senior Meld can’t play it, that’s why). But seriously, it’s a brilliant game. The dialog is everything I have come to expect from Tim Schaffer (sometimes, I almost hear Raz whenever Eddie talks) and the game for the most part handles nicely, except for the driving. Dear god, it’s horrible. Either you can’t turn, or you turn like you are on butter that has been liberaly applied to black ice. I just hope there is some upgrade to make the driving not suck ass.

Sorry there has not been much content lately, but with college being a dick, this is all I could scratch up. Again, sorry.

Most Important games in history

2009-08-19T23:35:00.002-05:00

A Video, Whats this?

2009-08-14T01:39:00.003-05:00

Women, Gaming, and Sexism?

2009-07-17T12:48:00.018-05:00

Are women being kept out of the gaming scene or is everyone just blowing smoke?

I logged onto Xbox live yesterday and I found at least 6 panels devoted to “Gamer ChiX”. Today I was searching for a picture of The Pyro from Team Fortress 2, but the majority of the links took me to feminist gamer blogs. These blogs were spewing unusual, and often retarded, ideology such as, “THE PYRO SHOULD BE FEMALE,” and, “Why do all female characters look like Lara Croft?" (I would ask why Lara Croft looks like all female video game characters, but then I would be told that I am being rhetorical and difficult). It seems there is an unholy crusade on videogames by women who apparently feel “Banned from gaming.”

The major complaint is that women are mistreated in online games, made fun of, yelled at, whipped, beat, and told to work in textile factories with little pay - the whole industry is built only for men and all female video game characters are just eye candy and all men do while playing is stare at them. "The video game industry is sexist to women and caters to men," is the primary claim.

First of all, before we go any further into the subject of sexism in games, we need to know what defines "sexism." Sexism is defined as, "Discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex, as in restricted job opportunities." Let’s go back to the top - Now notice I said there were at least five panels devoted to women in gaming? It seems we eliminated one of them - devaluation. Women are obviously valued players in online gaming communities. Whenever there is a match with a girl in it, people flock to it. Speaking from experience, whenever I play Halo and there happens to be a confirmed girl on a team, everyone seems to switch to her side. And it’s not like they are trying to make some crude attempt to hit on her, but rather it’s the novelty of playing with a girl since there are not a lot of girl gamers. It seems the gaming community is not really sexist after all.

Still, feminist gamers yell, "GAMES ARE CATERED TO MEN!!!" To them I say make-up. Yes, make-up. What does this have to do with anything you ask? Who wears make-up? Women, but is that all? Actors wear make-up, and there are a lot of male actors, both in theater and in film. Politicians wear make-up (we all know the story of how Nixon lost to John F. Kennedy as he refused to wear make-up on camera during a debate, which made him look like the Devil). Also, pretty much every band, goth kid, scene kid, emo kid, punk, and the contemporary wear make-up as well. So it seems that a lot of men wear Make-up, but would you say that more men than women wear it? I don’t know about elsewhere, but at least in the U.S. the answer is "no," and, as such, the make-up industry caters to women. There are only women on the boxes, never men, and most of the shades, colors, and styles are made for women, focusing on her features and not men’s. For a guy, that's not very inviting. Make-up is made for women because mostly women wear it, duh! It’s a fact, and you don’t hear men actors, goths, emos, punks, politicians (except Nixon), or anyone yelling about that. Also, if a guy was walking around in the make-up section at any store he would receive weird stares and be insulted. Is that not sexism?

Look, freaky feminists, mostly men play games, so naturally they will cater to their biggest buyer in order to entice them into buying their product. It’s not sexist, it’s smart. If you want women to be “accepted” then shut your face and play the damn game. There should not be more women characters just because you're a girl and you're playing the game. (Also I should note that more female characters are being developed and have major roles beyond sexy maiden in distress, a trend that has been going on for a while now in video games). I don’t freak out that I have to play as a girl in games like "Beyond Good and Evil" or "Left 4 Dead". I’m really tired of hearing about girl gamers. Honestly, other than having the ability to wear make-up without being yelled at and insulted they are just a normal gamer, no different than me. They are not models, and if they sell themselves as such then they are probably suffering from a severe ego trip. Teams like the “Frag Dolls” are cool in that it’s a move expand the industry of gaming to women and as such making it more accepted in society as an art from just like movies and books are. They are not some inspirational story of girls overcoming great odds. In fact, the Frag Dolls, in a way, are just a corporate move by Ubisoft to gain attention. What the gaming industry needs is a team of girls who play games, and do not sell the fact that they are female, but the fact that they enjoy games and spread the same message that, "If you enjoy games, then play them. That’s the way it should be, not that of some women's right movement." So please, for the future of man kind, SHUT UP!

**Edit

For those of you who are lot to what I'm saying, this is it in a nutshell: I don't hate female gamers. I dislike feminist gamers (who are both men and women) that go around yelling about anything and everything that was not made by a women or for women in an industry that was and still is enjoyed mostly by men. All they do is complain all day when there are plenty of niches for them. Not everything is sexist; girls are not kept out of the gaming scene and are often accepted. The only reason teams like the Frag Dolls are as popular as they are has less to do with skill and all to do with gender. Games are games, nothing more. It's not some civil rights movement.

Video Game Metal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-01T03:03:00.001-06:00

What the fuck its been so long since anyone here has done anything I feel like Indiana Jones on this fucking blog damnit . Now heres some fucking video game metal for you.

The title says it all, this post is a complete tribute to what i think is one of the greatest music genres ever, VIDEO GAME METAL. it combines three of my favorite things; Metal: the most powerful musical genre other than an orchestral symphony, Video game music: it creates the mood to my favorite games and stets up the storyline in context, and very nerdy nostalgia: which lets me relive inside my head the best parts of the video games I had once played but now can't find the A/V cables to play.

This post is also a mindless advertising tool to one of the great upcoming games: BRUTAL LEGEND (can't do the umlauts over the u) Which combines another three of my favorite things; Metal: stated above, an awesome video game: complete with the killing of emos with a battle ax and a guitar which shreds amazing riffs that can literally melt faces. and emo killing: which has to be stated twice because it kicks that much ass.

And Now The Main event , everybody scream VIDEO GAME METAAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!

First Band:

Powerglove

Inspiration: mostly based around games on the Nintendo consoles including The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros., Megaman, Final Fantasy, and Castlevania. They also branch out to other placse however, including Tetris, Sonic, and even the Power Rangers Theme.

Dicography:

Total Pwnage (EP)

Metal Kombat for the Metal Man

Noteable songs:

Power, Wisdom, Courage

Mario Minor

So sexy Robotnik

Tetris

Red Wings Over Baron (FFIV)

Site for Music: http://www.myspace.com/vgmetal

Official Site: http://www.vgmetal.com

.......And More

Megadriver

Inspiration: These are a purely Sega based band, from games such as; Altered Beast, The Revenge of the Shinobi, Sonic, and Streets of Rage

Discography:

Push Start Button

Metal Axe - The Golden Axe Remix Project

Metal Beast - Rise From Your Grave!

Raging Metal

Action Metal

Sword, Shurikins & Fists

Top Gear

Notable Songs:

Hedgehog Metal (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Long Distance (The Revenge of the Shinobi) from the album "Action Metal"

Battle Field (Golden Axe)

Rise From Your Grave (Altered Beast)

Official Site: http://www.megadriver.com.br

The Black Mages

Insperation: obvuosly inspired completely from Final Fantasy, if you don't know why then google the name of the keyboardist to find out.

Discography:

The Black Mages (s/t)

The Black Mages II: The Skies Above

The Black Mages III: Darkness and Starlight

Notable Songs:

Depends on which Final Fantsy that you like more

Well, that's all the bands that I'm doing today, stay tuned for more fucking awesome kick ass music and games

(go see powerglove in concert if you get the chance. They WILL kick your ass in a good way)

----------------
Now playing: Pink Floyd - Shine on You Crazy Diamond
via FoxyTunes

Reading Disc............................

2008-07-08T03:55:00.004-05:00

Well for this post I have decided to do something a little different, or at least I hope I chose to do it myself instead of those damn worms in my brain that try to control my every thought............I mean uhhmmm oh never mind.

I have decided not only to review a new game(next post), which is kinda strange for this blog because its supposed to be about old games eh, screw those other guys because since I got this game Ive had little time to play anything else let alone do this blog.

where was I?........oh yeah the changes on this post.

Well like I said earlier I'm not only going to reveiw a game(next post), but also a very great power metal album, by a band that are such brilliant composers that you might think they could craft an extreme metal symphony and not be out of place.

Yes, This is a reveiw for the brilliant album: Ghost Opera by Kamelot, an amazing band from Florida. From the opening track, which is just an instramental opening that is just a minute long, you know what kind of metal band this is. It is a symphonic power metal band, with a huge emphasis on melody and asthetics. They use a large amount of heavy metal riffs alongside some opera-ish singing, and orchestral meledy. This is one album and band that everyone who likes any power metal band, or any classical music should take the time to listen to. Every song in the list is beautifully composed, a word that some other power metal bands don't know the meaning of (Dragon Force) , and accompanied by perfect technical musicianship. This is the kind of thing that you would get if Bach or Mozart suddenly started dreaming of ghosts and dragons, the went into the future and were so amazed by the extreme awsomeness of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. My very favorite song off of this album is the fourth track "The Human Stain." Although this track has a pretty simple riff it is very memorable, along with a female vocal harmony in the chorus, and the piano/guitar double leads are great too. Another good song off this album is "Anthem", the tenth track, and I know that this song is not a power metal song, or even a metal song, but it just shows how great of a singer that Roy Kahn is in this band. Kamelot has also just released a new music video for the song "Rule the World" that can be seen on Youtube. This is a great song and a really expensive video for a metal band of any kind to produce (with the exeption of Metallica, Preist, and Sabbath of course) I mean that usually record companies only spend their time and money on either their biggest bands or the most popular music of the time. which leads me to end this review right now to bring about a little ranting about what some people (not me) consider to be a viable form of "Musical" expression.

Bottom Line- Kamelot Rules give them a try if you like your metal with lots of thought put in to the music rather than just some simple riffage and some "extreme" vocals (Slipknot)

Ps. and if you like Kamelot you should also check out Elvenking, Rhapsody of Fire, Symphony X, Dream Theater, and I will always promote Black Majesty during any music discussion whether its about power metal or even techno (I hate that too)

Okay its been a long while since I posted and I will be away for the rest of the week so I will post this now and save the game review and rant for later posts.......It has to seem like I am at least doing something on this blog......because the Amish metal "Rocker," well he's just too dissapointing to talk about.

Because you were home...

2008-06-30T23:48:00.004-05:00

That is the final word uttered to their victims just before they are killed after nearly four hours of torture, mind games and violent attacks. The faces, cold, just as is there hearts as they tear into the helpless couples stomachs with a steak knife they found in the kitchen. Based on true events you say? That’s not good…

"Can you please move? Were trying to watch the show."

If you were expecting The Strangers to be a gothic horror film with all its twists and odd story lines, then you will be disappointed. If you were expecting it to be a Japanese horror film with its obsession with women with long black hair and a need for revenge, then you will be disappointed. “Because you were home” so well sums up the movie. It’s a random act of hate, one that has no reason, it just is.

It's moments like this that screw with your mind as you walk down a dark hallway at midnight, alone.

The thing that this movie lacks is what makes it so good. A story. Every killing does not have an intercept plot , and The Strangers makes this point well. There is not cheese story that so many movies have today, and you don’t have to suffer through a Mike Myers rip off, the bad guys are not invincible, but its hard to believe that when you watch them hunt there prey. They are not some super natural being, they are a family, or maybe friends. They find joy in killing others, but first they must play with their victims. That’s what makes it fun. And that’s also what makes this movie just as fun to watch. Its like a scare house, they play with your mind. There is not a lot of blood, and when there is, its not excessive. This makes it so much better than movies like The Chain Saw massacre where you watch the bad guys rip their enemies into tiny bloody bits.

Now now is not the time to be bowing down to lord xinu.

This movie is scary, no joke. Its one of the few movies where I jump. Allot. If you watch this movie, watch it with friends. This is a one shot deal, once you have seen it, its done. I’m not saying it’s a bad movie, just that the tricks they pull wont work twice. Plus it’s so much more rewarding to see you’re friends freak when The Masked Man emerges behind the curtains, imposing, without fear. What makes it so cool is that fact that the bad guys don’t try to kill, so you don’t have to live through crappy escapes and half thought out ideas on how to immobilize the threat at hand. They play until they finally break, then they tie them together and finish them off. A jobs well done.

I think I saw this once in crocodile dundee. It ended baddly for the person with the small knife.

This movie clams to based off of real events. This is and isn’t true. There has, or at least none that I know of, never been a case where three masked people attacked a group of people in such a manner. Instead it appears to be based off of the Manson cult murders, another event that took place to the director of the film when he was young, and the Keddie murders seem to be the most influential, at least with the location and how the people were killed. Still what makes this movie so scary is that it seems so possible, even as I walk now every time I pass a mirror I expect to see them stalking me. You will never see things that move and disappear in your house the same way again. My bathroom door is locked, with no one in it. How did it get locked? Is she inside waiting to kill me the second I unlock it.

Peeping tom...

The villains of this move are some of the, for lack of better words, coolest I have seen so far. Doll Face, Pinup Girl, and Masked Man are very scary. I want their masks for the next Halloween dance at my school. They are omnipotent, they so flawlessly craft what they do, and that’s what makes this movie neat. Yeah, some of they things the couple does is, well, lame. But really, it just made to scare you. You must know this else you will hate this movie. Everything they say or do is so calculated. Lines like, “are you sinners? Some times.” Are some of the most powerful things here. The eerie sound effects make them even better. Really, with out the sound, they are just people in weird masks. The sound makes them into demons.

Oh, wrong movie.

This movie is a treat for horror fans who enjoy scary movies. Watch it or don’t, it does not really mater. It wont change your out look or horror movies, just another to be added to the repertoire of terror films. Oh, and if someone asks you to marry them, just say yes.

Ocarina of Time

2008-06-23T09:34:00.016-05:00

Ah, yes old friend, welcome home.

Yeah, it’s a review! And this one is on one of my favoret games, Legend of Zelda, the Ocarina of Time chances are, you have heard of this game, if you haven’t you are a worthless slime bag.

I These graphics are in game, no pre-rendered crap here.

Oh, where to begin. The graphics for this game were needless to say, unbelievable for the day. While some things were not as, incredible, on the play-thru I just made now of the game. Some things leave me scratching my head wondering how they did that with such a, comparatively with the things we operate today, weak system. Like the chicken AI, them damn things always get you. I swear, nothing, not Halo, not Ninja Gaiden, no game ever has had an enemy more feared than Kukos. They predict your moves; they know what you are doing before you do it. They are going to take over the world.

CHICKEN!!!

The sound here is incredible. The music is wonderfully composed. You find yourself days after humming its songs, only further proving that you have no life. No really though, everything that should make a sound does. Now, for the things that should not make a sound that would be Navi. Yes, this game did it all, including creating what is possible the most annoying character in video game history. You do anything and you are bombarded with “HEY!!!’ and “Listen!” there are even moments, where you can get Navi to completely freak out and say “HEY!!!” a million times a second. I swear, I think the only thing more annoying than her was the Wutnot from Kameo, but well leave that for another time.

Only you, Link, can prevent forest fires.

Besides Navi, most of the character here are bearable. I only wish Nintendo opted to use real voices for this game, that would really make this game stand out, then again, it’s a Japanese game. Never mind voices a bad thing, and they don’t really need it anyway. They convey emotions beautify, and some are pretty interesting. Other are just, well odd. Like that one guy in tiger skin pants who stands there and yells. Nothing can justify his existence, nothing.

Then he got one, how unfortunate...

The game play is pretty strait forward. It’s a puzzle game. You solve puzzles. Only it’s so much more. I really can’t think of any other game that competes with it. On its own, when you look at it. This is the picnial of what a Zelda game should be. None of that padding crap, with they have you running around making it seem like it’s longer. No, this game is really strait forward and it still longer than most RPG’s. everything you do is mostly relevant to the game, there is little things you can do, but the really are only in place for you entertainment, not really a side quest by definition, but they work.. Lighting is an issue with some of the dungeons, espessially if you have a broken or older television, trust me, I speak from experience. The forest temple is the worst. God… Yeah, I did, it takes three licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. I dont need to hear it again.

The dungeons in this game are based off of mythological elements, water, fire, ect. But there are some other ones, such as sprit, death, and the such.
I really like the number of dungeons that are included in the game, really makes it a Zelda game. Each of them is fun, and requires you to learn as you play. One strategy that worked in one place will not carry over to anything. While in some games this would be a negative, but it works here. Nothing is to crazy, its just as it should be.
Shoop da whoop...

Its sad, this, to me, is possible the best game of the series. While the following games were not bad, they did not live up to what they could have been. They were shorter, and they changed the basic formula of the game that made them great. It bugs me. Its like the dummies down at Nintendo sat down and said, how can we make this game lame? Ah! YES! We can take away 90% of the game that is ocarina of time, leave you with the first half and the ending boss. Then we will sell it back to you for full price. Really, such a crime has only on punishment, being forced to hear Navi scream hey a million times a minute while being mauled by the rabid chickens of Kakariko Village.

You might be a boss from legend of zelda if your name has more than 20 characters in it.

Basically, if you have not played this game, you to shall be mauled the chickens, and maybe get a boot to the face. Really. Play this game. It may be super old, but its still worth it to see Nintendo’s triple A title, something that they really haven’t done since.

CHICKEN!!!

Привет!!!

2008-06-10T01:58:00.006-05:00

I almost forgot I had a blog, you know? It's been so long since I last made a post, plus all the projects I had for school.(Trust me, I had allot. I even had two in once class, and they were both due the same day. I thought slavery was outlawed back in the 1860’s, but shows you what I know about U.S. history.) I basically left you for nearly a month. But unlike female sea turtles, who have kids and just abandon, I came back for you. Don’t you feel loved? (Really, all female sea turtles should be sued for child neglect.)

This was one of my projects. Um, we had to build a cardboard boat. All you really need to know is that ours rocked the socks off everything. It was basically Indestructible. Oh, and yes, We also needed a theme, and we went with russians.

Yeah, allots happened during the past month. New games, new movies, new shows, new underwear. (I gots the kind with the frillies! YAY!) Where to begin, where to end. Meh, I guess I will go with the movies.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was a fairly good movie. Not the best in the series, but it was better than temple of doom, and in the end that’s all that really matters. Um, I think the main issue of this movie is that it was made 19 years after the last one. Not being exposed to another Indiana Jones movie until now, means you have to get you’re Indiana Jones vaccine. The story was good, yet again it had this weird factor to it. It was perfect, it fit the setting, the 1950’s, everything. But the last three movies was dealing with religious artifacts, this was dealing with aliens and the such. There was no transition, so it was this huge jump. Unless you are open to it you will not like it.

Also, if you are expecting this movie to be another to add to the Indiana Jones series, then you won’t like it. I loved this movie, it was great, but it still. It can NEVER live up to the last three. That’s an impossible goal. It’s new, you will nitpick at everything. It’s such a jump from the last movies to the computer age that I’m sure everyone is going to be yelling at how it was made.

It has great images. You can take any picture of this movie and its exciting. Some are so memorable that they will stay with you days after you watched the film. They are great. Others were… Special. I like the scene where the UFO flies out of the ground, but really, me and the person that went to see this movie were laughing out loud. I mean, Indiana Jones, and aliens. Really?

There is not much to talk about on the side of special effects, and that’s a good thing. It’s not a CGI crack movie, which scares me. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas made a movie with limited CGI? Gods be praised! The CGI effects they did do were cool, but some bugged me, like the prairie dog. Do you really need a CGI prairie dog? I don’t think you do. Just get a real prairie dog and use that (I have ten by my house I would be happy to give you, and don’t worry I’ll deal with PETA), or don’t have one at all. You don’t need it. It’s not important. It only takes away from the movie. But with all my yelling, this was a great movie. You must watch it or you are lame.

School is out. Thank god for that, I was going to loose it. If you did not know I hate my school with a passion that is almost unrivaled. Yeah, the tech peoples latest game is that they block basically every site on the web (even Wikipedia and the schools homepage for, and this is not a joke, “education”.) and then they kick you off the web. I am going to write them a large letter about this one. Why? It makes it very hard to get pictures in graphic classes. Basically if you use any image search engine 95% of everything is blocked. Then you get kicked off for five minutes. And seeing that they give use these super short classes, they are only 45 minutes each as this is better to them, it becomes impossible to finish your work on time. Really, if they are going to do that, then tell me that this site is block, oh I don’t know, GET A PROGRAM THAT DOES THAT! I’m sure they have them. You know, the kind that when you put you pointer or select a URL that is blocked it turns red showing that you can’t go their. Or, heck just block it. I can’t go there anyway. I know, crazy ideas, but these people are not smart enough to figure this out on there own, so I am going to tell them. Maybe they will learn something about computers. The last time I checked, you have to warn someone before you go shooting at them. But not here. I swear, they were chasing after my friend because he went to a blog the had the word “dead” in it. Really? And then they had the gule to clam he was looking at porn. This place sickens me to the core, I want to leave so badly.

Do Russians play Halo 3? I don’t know if they do. I know not allot do as they do not get Xbox live service out there. That’s dumb to me, but anyway. Me and my Expendable Sith were searching, we even had the Xbox find other users who’s dashboard was in Russian. But no. Nothing. I even resorted to shouting ”Привет”, “Здравствуйте” and “Я водку иметь”. There has to be at least one Russian out there on Xbox Live metavers, and its my goal to find that person. It is my destiny.

Now time for random images!

These chips are triple X hot!

Our school's tech team is so stupid they can't even figure out how to fix a compture unless you cover it in sticky notes telling them that it is, in fact, Broke. They may give you laptops, but man do they suck.

Last day of school, what do you know. Fired drill! Really, I'm not sure what happend here, I know that there was no fire and that the fire alarm was not pulled, but for some reason they went off and the entire fire deparment/police/medical groups came rushing. I told some gullible kid that there were terroist in the building...

But whatever, I should have reviews again in no time, just stick around.

Story lines are important too!

2008-06-06T19:06:00.004-05:00

Hey all, MDR is back, and now he'll write the review he promised one month ago. Now this review is on what you ask? Well...

Yes, it's one of the greatest games ever created (not only my opinion, but the opinion of many developers, game magazines, and gamers alike).

Now, if you haven't played this game, you may be wondering, "What is Metal Gear Solid?" Well, Metal Gear Solid (or MGS for short) is just what the subtitle above the main title says. "Tactial Espionage Action". Yes, I know it is vague, so let me explain.

MGS is a game where stealth matters much more than run and gun. You play as Solid Snake, a retired mercenary from the Fox-Hound unit. You've been called back by your old commander to infiltrate an instillation on a small Alaskan Island named Shadow Moses that has been taken over by terrorists.

It is very much possible to get through the game without being seen once (Extremely difficult, but I have done it). The main view of the game is a fixed overhead camera, though this changes depending on what room(or part of a room) you are in. It's somewhat hard to explain, but i'll try my best. Well, mainly, your view is overhead, but this will change if you do one of many things. The first (and one you will do a lot) is press up against something. When you are near a corner and press up against it, you will see down the next hall, or area, etc.

Better hope that guard doesn't see you, Snake.

Another thing you can do is enter vents. When you crawl into a vent, your view changes to First person. This sometimes can be annoying, as vents can be extremely dark, and hard to navigate.

Gameplaywise, MGS can be a litte hard to get used to, but with a litte practice, the controls are very responsive. Also, I should mention this now, if you are the proud owner of a Gamecube, you can by a remade enhanced version of MGS, called "Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes". I would recommend playing on the GC instead of the PSX/PC version, not just because of graphics, but mainly due to a few other things. The cutscenes have been redone much better. In the old one, they talked pretty fast, and it was hard to understand a few things.

Imbed is a bit weird, so here is the link to a comparison video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2ozvbq0yMMM

Another Comaprison video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=mFo4Dx5ZOmI

In the remake, dialouge is slower, so you can pick up a few things better. Another thing changed from the original is the ability to go into First Person View when firing a gun. You also get the option to lower your gun via the safety button, conserving precious ammo.

Boss battles on this game are memorable, from a gun fight in a small room with a hostage and c4, to a fistfight that brings back old memories for Snake. A battle with a deranged telekinetic (this one will take you a while, you got to do something to your console, nothing dangerous mind you, in order to win against him), a fight against a fully armed tank, and two epic sniper battles. I haven't mentioned all of them, but they are all memorable in their own way.

Music in this game is awesome. While some of you may expect some rock or techno, you'll be pleased with the classical pieces used for the game.

All in all, I recommend you play through the game. Either the PSX/PC version, or the GC version, it doesn't matter. One thing I recommend is play it when you have nothing important in the near future to do, the game will immerse you to the point where you'll forget to put the controller down (they'll kindly remind you to in game though).

Checkpoint.........I think I've been here before

2008-05-29T17:36:00.006-05:00

Well its been awhile since I have posted anything at all ...a little too long. Anyway I've decided to use this post as a glimpse...into....the......fu.......ture......

I will now become a shameless marketing plug in 3.....2.....1......

Ninja Gaiden 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Releases June 3rd

Wait a minute thats on
Tuesday,

I better mark my calender.

Well I can't wait for this game and I hope they got rid of those stupid ghost-fish from the last game

Ps. remember the ghost-fish because I will do an amazing middle of the year rant. It will be the rant of the century so stayed tuned this summer.

Now if I can just remmember where I left my sanity, I know I had it at one time this year..........oh well maybe I left in my other pants.

.......................................Checkpoint Saved

Newbie on the blog

2008-05-09T19:37:00.002-05:00

Hello all, Mr Death Reincarnated, but everyone calls me MDR. I'll be joining Copnos and the rest in this review-a-thon of older games. What will I review first? Well, here's a hint. Check the package.

Paranoia - Half-Life mod

2008-05-04T14:53:00.009-05:00

Ok, so as you can tell by the video, we are going to talk Paranoia, and I hope you all took Russian in high school (whose high school doesn’t teach Russian?) because this entire game is in it this language. Basically if you don’t speak Russian you’re screwed and your only other option is to use the subtitles which, according to 30% of the United States, is harder to do than learning Russian and makes it feel like a B-rated Kung-fu movie (because, you know, so many United Statesians speak Russian).

Subtitles makes moments like these pricless...

Anyway, this is a mod of the Half-Life game. You remember Half-Life, right? The game that’s name pertained to nothing in the actual game. Yeah, that’s about all I remember too. Well, Paranoia is a fitting addition to the Half-Life mod family as its name also has to do with nothing in the game, really it clams to be filled “paranoia” but I can’t remember a single paranoiac episode. Crap, this isn’t a good sign.

Cтой...

Any way, installing this game is a real carnival of fun. If you have the original non steam version of Half-Life, then it is pretty strait forward. But if you, like most of us, have the steam version, well you’re screwed. The instructions that tell you how to install it are wrong; their website tells you that. But the web sites instructions are, get this, ALSO A TOTAL LOAD OF CRAP FILLED SHEEP INTESTINES! And this wouldn’t be so bad if was just a copy and paste you’re files where you want them, but no. They had to make the installer from the third circle. You know the one that complains about every detail, and adds useless files/folders in every direction. WOOT FUN! I figured it out eventually, and please don’t ask me how because I don’t even know. I just filled every steam folder with the data for the game.

Half-Life reference number 1.

Ok, so you finally start up the game, and it takes forever to load. All this game does it load. Every five seconds there is another loading screen. The game loads kinda fast, each screen is about 30 seconds. But I mean, I think there is more loading than there is game play. Really some one asked me what I was doing, and I said loading paranoia, not playing it like I should be. Bums you out a little.

In Soviet Russia, game loads you!

Once you actually start playing you are surprised. “This is a half-life mod”? Yeah the graphics almost make it look like a HL2 mod. There is lighting engines (thanks god), the textures look like photos, not the MS paint crap of Half-Life. One thing that is missing is that you can’t kick boxes around, which kind of sucks as the environments are so lively (they fulfill my idea of what Russia is; you know posters on every wall telling you how to wipe your butt, Ect.). Good thing is there is never a moment when there isn’t a wall or a car or a box or someone to hide behind when you are being shot at.

You really see the improvements when you look at the game side by side.

The sounds is simple awesome. In truth I downloaded Paranoia for the sound as they used music from a band called Slot (its Слот to everyone else) one of the best bands from Russia (in my opinion, at least). At first I wondered how they would implement a Nu Metal band into a game, but after playing it, it’s hard not to. The music is well placed. It sets a great mood, and builds atmosphere in already intense moments. They also have great sound effects; I have to play with head phones as they use stereo effects to give the illusion of direction (You can use surround sound I guess, but if you have that on you’re computer you really are a nerd). Really, you must play with head phones. My only complaint is how all the Russian voices are so… monotone 70% of the time. But whatever, you really don’t notice it to much.

sound brings moments like these to life

The game play is also a great. Many, many memorable moments throughout the game. The AI is great for a mod. There is variation to the environments, and you have a few different enemies to fight. You aren’t always fighting, sometimes they giving you a break, and honestly, you need it. This game has made me jump more than Doom and F.E.A.R combined (I love these names, Doom, F.E.A.R, Paranoia). And they get you in really cool ways. They don’t just jump out at you. You have to explore and interact with things before they come. These guys really know how to make a scary game. The only issue I had with this game was that it felt kind of short, like it was over but it needed to keep going. And there is no replay value. There is no real reason to go back and play through the campaign, and the lack of multiplayer really puts a bullet in the head of replay-ability.

Can I has paranoia nows?

This is a really great mod. Its free (as long as you have half-life) so the really is no reason not to check it out, unless you can’t install it… but yeah, get this game, play it at night, with head phones and remember that in Russia, games play you!

Kогда-либо худшее шутка, исправить?

Cтой!

Star Tropics

2008-04-27T02:31:00.013-05:00

First off, every muscle, pore, lymph node, bone, and organic compound that is my body is screaming in a harmonic chorus. Why? Because after nearly three years of abstaining from sun light and moving, I gave myself a nearly lethal dose of “Doing everything all at once in the middle of the day”. You should see my arms; they make me look a character strait out of Rainbow Bright. (Don’t ask me how I know.) I’m rubbing juice from an Alavera plant all over my burns. I hear it helps, but its just making my skin hurt even worse. I think am going to go Goth now because I really believe the sun is trying to kill me. All hail to their pail and pasty ways!

I got a job application to work at Game Stop. (A nerd, working at a nerd store? PREPOSTEROUS!) Indeed it is, nearly as preposterous as my soon to be skin cancerous arms, and the dinosaur currently knocking at my door trying to sell me bath soaps that I really don’t want because I don’t have a credit card that he accepts, but also because I hate lilac scented soap. I don’t like lilac because 99.9% women agree that lilac is out beaten (or out smelled, but in a good way) by whatever the hell that dove crap smell is. I trust that statistic because women are never wrong, EVER. (Ha, 99.9 is the Mark of the Beast upside down, score one for Jesus!) Actually, that last one was pretty preposterous.

I wonder what this game is called...

Any who, now for a new review, a complete rip off of the Zelda games for the NES, Star Tropics. Never heard of Star Tropics? That ether means you have a life, your you missed out on one of the most “okish” games ever on the ye old Nintendo system. Be prepared for you super nerdy friends to pelted with spit wads that were originally use to express the Mandelbrot set, quantum law, and etcetera to prove to your bewildered teachers that infinite complexity can be expressed by equations as simple as Z# = Z#-1 + C . (Run on sentence in paragraph three!)

What kind of losers go to a place called C-island... I guess me...

Ironically, Star Tropics was made by Nintendo. Normally game companies don’t try to rip off of their own games, or compete with their own products, especially ones as wildly popular as Legend of Zelda. (Then again we are talking about Nintendo, a company that made a game about a plumber that eats mushrooms and try’s to rescue princesses from giant turtles and monkeys.) What’s even scarier is that this game surpasses the NES Zelda games in many ways. Sadly this game only got one sequel, Zodas Revenge: Star Tropics 2. Why do the good die young.

Cheif? Why do I feel like you came from a trailer park and that you don't know my uncle?

One feature this game has that other Nintendo games were lacking is dialogue. Only issue is that it is as confusing as hell. One second they are talking about one thing, and then in the same paragraph they switch subjects. I mean, is that really necessary? (Oh yeah, and they other day, I bought a Jacuzzi. Funny bubbles, funny bubbles. Oh and I hate broccoli, let go to the movies some time on Tuesday.) Anyway. They also have creative characters, they are interesting, if you know what I mean.

Huh? No, I dont want to have your kids! They are yours! Take them.

The combat in this game is ok, considering the Nintendo controller is, well, I pile of square gray crap with some funny rounds things on it. The enemies are ok, Legend of Zelda had more original ones, but Nintendo could not reuse everything now could they? The puzzles are strait forward, except for when they are not. Sometimes they don’t even work right, and then they work again for no reason, whatever. This game is notorious for one of the hardest puzzles ever. If you bought the game, it came with a note that introduced da player (yo) to the game. It was intend to make you feel as if you are a part of the game. Why am I telling you this? Because later in this game, there is a cryptic message that tells you to dip the note into the water. Hesitate you will, but there is no going pass the game unless you do this. This reviles a secret message that informs the player on how to proceed, that you have no life, and you will probable never have any kids. Now, lets say you found this game at a yard sell or pawn shop, what are the chances that they still have this note, or are going to give it to you? Very small and at a time when the Internet barley existed, this basically killed the game for everyone. Nintendo Power told people the secret message as they were getting completes about the game, but that means unless you have that exact issue (good luck) you were screwed. Needles to say they never did that again… I think.

Why does the graphics look like something I threw up, and then later drew in MS paint for the heck of it

Despite my negitive tone, this game was very well exactitude for its time. It’s a shame, but understandable, that it was not more popular. I would be enjoyable to have this on the wii, though the thought of the sadistic puzzles they would have fill me with terror. Anyway play it if you get the chance, and see what you think.

Well, I missed that in U.S. history. You know the part where Coca-Cola takes over and renames the country? Darn communist.

Dust?

2008-04-24T23:42:00.005-05:00

Yes, it has been a while since a last post. Sorry for the dust. I have, for the most part been doing homework, and working on a drawing for a friend who is indefinitely better than all of you (Thats just how it is, get over it). The thing was pretty big, so it took about a week to finish it.

I should start posting again soon, though I wonder what my friends excuse are for not posting. Meh, no matter, We shale return.

Marathon: Durandal

2008-04-01T20:01:00.011-05:00

Let sleeping dogs lie, let sleeping gods die…

Marathon Durandal is a game that, if you ever played any first person shooters from the Doom era, feels like meeting an old friend who you haven’t seen in a long time. Marathon: Durandal was released in 1995 by none other than Bungie, as a sequel to the first game. It represent a landmark not only in the shooter genre, which at this time the industry still worshiped Doom, but a landmark game on the Macintosh, where is still remains today. ( lol, Macintosh still has no games)

an "awe crap" moment as brought to you by Marathon.

One of the first things you will notice is that Marathon’s engine is vastly superior to that of Doom’s in many ways. It was one of the first FPS’s that actually lets you look up. If any of you played Doom, you know that you can’t look up (just like dogs). Liquids such as water are common in this game, before Marathon most liquids were just floors that look like liquids and they would kill you the second you touched it. It also had a powerful lighting engine for the time, its not much now, but its there. Finally it had a story, something that in 1995 was sadly only found in the realm of RPG’s such as Final Fantasy.

Story is told though consoles, Most of which are under the control of Durandal, as seen here.

The games campaign takes place 17 years after the first game. The Pfhor (try to say that five times fast) are planing to attack earth, the computer intelligence Durandal is still Rampant, and is using you to to explore the ruins of Lh'owon (did Bungie come up eith these names by hitting a keyboard with their faces or what) to stall their advance, and a mysteirous race know as the Jjaro (COME ON, SERIOUSLY) threaten the balance. The game features many weapons, nothing too special, but all of them are functional. There are also a plethora of enemies to smite with your godly shotgun of santly death (take that Holy Handgernade). Each level itself feels rather bland, you are often just killing off Pfhor, S'pht'Kr, or F'lickta (see what I mean) to get to the next console and thus be teleported to repeat the same repeditive task. Though fair is fair, this game was created in 1995 and it’s campaign is still better than many shooters today ( HA take that KillZone and Postal).

Contrary to comon wisdom, the BlueOnes do not give you extra health.

The multiplayer for this is a juggernaut. It allows for eight people to play online, voice chat, and contains seven gametypes for simple Slayer to new game type called Kill the man with the Skull, which was the precursor to Oddball game type in Halo. Each map is original and fun. It also has a four player online coop mode and allows you to save your films of gameplay, something that reapeared in Halo 3.

If you play Marathon right, this should be all you’ll ever see.

As I have stated over and over, this game is freaking great. It still stand to as a great shooter. It has recently been ported to the Xbox 360 in the online arcade, but why spend 10 dollars to play when you can go to http://source.bungie.org/get/ and download it for free. That’s right, FREE (just like america) , so there is no excuse, go and get it now.

P.S. All the screenshots were taken by me of Marathon: Durandal running at its max settings. If your computer can’t do the same it desvers to get a virus. That is all.

F.E.A.R : First Ever Ancient Review

2008-03-30T01:13:00.010-05:00

The following title was a lie. I was just trying to find a snazy way to introduce the awsome game that is FEAR for the Xbox 360. I obviously failed.

FEAR, while not really an old game by most standards, it is not new by any means either. FEAR was first released for the PC on october 17, 2005. it was ported to the Xbox a year later, and then to PS3 last year.

The first thing you notice when you put this in your Xbox is they make it a point to, again, tell you this game is rated M. This is a warning, if you could not tell, that this game is SUPER DUPPER EXTREAMLY violent. This not just any ordinary violence, but Jack Thompson angering, soccer mom protesting, Jack the Ripper and Eddie Gein's disturbed child kinda violence. This is probable one of the most violent and goreiest games I have ever seen. If this kinda stuff makes you sick, they have an option to tone it down, but only pansies "tone it down".

The main character of this game seems to be Alma. She is best likened to the G-man from the Half-Life games as she randomly appears wherever you are, though at the same time is more colorful and harder to understand. At one moment she seems to have a "maternal" intrests in the welfare the the Point-Man, the guy you play as. But just as soon as she does somthing to help you she tries to kill you, usually tring by liquify your fleash or sending you into phantom infested psyich realm. It is as if her only goal is to help you, so she can kill you later on. Then there is Paxton Fettel. The first scene of the game opens with him eating a man, leaving you to think "hey! Whats wrong with him? Why is he eating a man. doesn't he know their are soup lines that give free chicken soup made of discarded rat meat?". He is obviously a puppet of Alma, though they both have a past that is explaind through out the games story.

the games campaign is long for an average FPS, divied into 11 sections, each with about 4 or 5 mini sections. It is also one of the first shooters I know of that used diaries to tell detals of the story. the main story is told through Alma, who send you visions the tell the main points of the story. These are are often made to scare you, as they often have ghost, or everything flying at you. The diaries, often in the form of answering machines or laptops, fill in the details of whats going on. this has since be emulated by games like Bioshock. You can only carry three weapons, and each gun is specialized for certain tasks so you often trade weapons. The AI is unbelievable. You will see them jump over things or, if the pile is to high to jump, they will just crawl under it. They will knock down items for cover. it is probable one of the best AI ever seen in a game. My only complant with the single player is the blandness of the environments. You will often see the same room a dozen times in just one section. Also there is a limited number of baddies to shoot. Most of the time its just solders or cops, and none of them really act any diffrent. There are a few other enemies, but they are mostly there to surrprise you so they are not encountered often.

I am not such a big fan of the multiplayer. It is fun, and very diffrent from Halo's and Half-Life's cirle straff crap that you end up doing the entier game. It is instead much more methotical and tactical. If you run out like rambo you will be killed quicker than Rosie o'Donald at a republican barbeque.You may ask what is wrong with it then if I liked it? The problem is it takes so freaking long to get a game started. It does not have Halo's " we'll set up a round for you". No, instead it you set up the game. People come and go, you never really have a good sized game going leaving it empty, dull, and out right boring 90% of the time.

I could go on about this game forever. It is such a great game, and so much of it is so well polished for the time that it came out. This game has even, oddly enough, became better with age. With so many Halo-Killers polluting the market, this is genuienly freash, kinda like a crazy break dancing grampa. It has become one of my favoret games, leaving me to tell you to get this game, play it in the dark, play it with surround sound, play it alone, just play it and try not to like it. Crazy Jack Thompson angering Gore and all.

loading.....Where the hell am I?

2008-03-27T00:57:00.003-05:00

It's pretty late and I'm really pissed off, so for my first post I will be reveiwing my damned printer, copnos, and Dead Rising. What a great lineup... ah hell. First up is my printer, which is the main reason that I am still up, I have school tomorrow you stupid printer. I think my cable is busted amd it's pissing me off so much I want to go kick a puppy...too bad mine is asleep. !SHIT! almost fell alseep there too. Since this damn printer has a broken cable... I give it one broken cable out of one, a perfect score of suckage.

Am I still on this blog okay on to number 2!!!!!!!!.

And by number 2 I mean the one and only copnos. I can't say much about copnos yet, I'll wait for his reviews, then.......yes....... then.......

Okay then Dead Rising Right. Well the first thing I noticed was the title screen, shocking isn't it. It was pretty boring, zombies walking toward a mall, three options, the mall....... wait, only three options??? well I did what any normal rereveiwer does load up a saved game. The gameplay was just as I had remembered one button jumps, one picks up stuff, and one kills and kills and kills, yes the mighty X button slayer of dragons, reloader of weapons, mass murderer of zombies. well thats pretty much what you do in this game is X button those zombies straight to hell, which is why I am leaving out the story, couse the only part of the story you need to know is that your in a mall, there are zombies trying to eat you, and you can use pretty much anything as a weapon...TIME TO KICK ASS . It was fun for a few plays but once you get the location of all the good weapons you just end up heading back to those same areas to get those weapons. all in all Dead Rising is a great Game when you first pop it in to your 360 but after about a year, going back just seems like a hassle......... It's....Finaly....O..v..er..........

Dead Risng (360) Capcom
Previous score (when I first played it): 5 head exploding zombies out of 5.5
Current score: 7 X button X button X buttons out of 9

..............Loading complete

!Hail to the X button!

Hello World

2008-03-24T21:17:00.008-05:00

Hello, and welcome to the blog set up and ran by me (Copnos), Seinor Meld, Expendable Sith, and The Amish Metalrocker. We will review games, most of them from yesteryear, with the goal of seeing if they are still up to snuff. You will laugh, you will cry, you will obey the last two commands.

Many post soon.